Of Beauty Queens and Public Restrooms.

I had a great laugh at this story of 15 year-old beauty pageant winner, Olivia O’Neil who dyed her hair (GASP!) brunette, and how the pageant organizer responded –

“ …I’m sure someone will step into your place with manners”, said Osborne, adding that O’Neil “would not go far in this world.”

Any adult that tells a 15 year-old they’ll “not go far in this world” should immediately report to my private ass-beating room.

I wasn’t a teenage Hell Raiser. At least I didn’t try to be. I was the type of teen, however, that when our photography teacher, Mrs. Deutsch, confronted the class about who pooped in a towel and hid it in a darkroom drawer, the whole class turned to look at me. (Yes, you read that correctly. Someone made a dookey in a towel and put it in a drawer.) The joke is on them, though, because I had a shy colon. When I needed to poop during school I walked all the way home. A cop once picked me up on my way and returned me to school. I walked right back out the door and went home. It’s quiet there and the toilet paper’s better.

Incidents like the above have helped me cultivate a sense of empathy towards those among us who are slightly left of the dial.  But being a little out of step doesn’t preclude one from being a huge success. Does it, Mark Cuban? Steve Jobs? Kanye West?

When discussing the aforementioned Teen Beauty Queen a close friend remarked, “Beauty Queen Rebel? *YAWN* She’s no feminist just a dumb kid.”

To which I say, True – dying her blonde locks brown is hardly a fashion manifesto. She didn’t tell the Pageant Producer where she could shove her crown out of any deeply held ideological beliefs. She is neither a rebel nor a feminist icon. But, guess what dumb kids grow into…